My heart hurts...

The last thing I want is for this blog to turn into a place where I just gripe...so, I plan to start 'not griping' tomorrow!  Tonight, I need to VENT.  I need some advice.  I need some hugs.  And, most of all...I need an ear (or ears).  I know, I'm kinda needy that way.  Oh my, was today a challenge!

A good friend of mine once said, "I would LOVE to be the principal of an orphanage!"  I know that sounds horrible, but I so get what she means.  Parents can be just down-right mean.  I am a parent...to six wonderful-but-challenging-in-their-own-way children (well, young adults, really).  So I really do get that as a parent you must advocate for your children.  I wouldn't expect anything less.  What I don't get is when parents turn something that should so clearly be about their child into something that so clearly is about them.  This is infuriating.  It is hurtful, for everyone involved.  And it is so damn selfish! 

I had, perhaps, the worst meeting of my career today.  I had anticipated that it would be less than smooth, but I had no idea that one 'supposed' professional could treat a roomful of other professionals with such disdain and disrespect.  It was jaw dropping to say the least.  Before I go any further, let me just say with my whole (aching) heart that this is not about pride or ego on my part (or of those members of our spectacular team).  This is about RIGHT AND WRONG.  This is about doing what is BEST FOR THE CHILD.  This is so NOT about the parent, or at least shouldn't be!

So, our meeting went 'south' very quickly.  I would say that the 'agenda' of this parent became clear the moment she walked through the door (15 minutes late I might add).  I take that back.  Her agenda became clear when she sent me an actual one-page agenda a few hours prior to our meeting (a.k.a inquisition)!  She clearly had a chip on her shoulder.  She clearly was angry.  And she clearly was not going to be reasonable.  Thank goodness for our wonderful principal and our team of dedicated professionals (friends)!  Well, the meeting lasted a whopping 10 minutes.  And let's just say we did not hug or pass high-fives on our way out.  In fact, the tension in that room was so thick you could taste it.  I'm pretty sure we all sat there, mouths agape, a full 3 minutes before a word was uttered.

Once we regained some semblance of reality, we dove into our debrief.  Voices escalated.  Minds raced. Tears flowed (just mine, really).  An action plan was made.  Bonds were strengthened.  Did I mention that I cried?

Remember when I said this wasn't about ego?  Or pride?  Rather about right and wrong?  I have been told that I have an overwhelming sense of justice.  To a fault maybe.  I just don't know how to reconcile that with reality sometimes.  When someone says to me, "are you sure that is the hill you want to die on?", my answer is most often, YES!  If it means fighting for what is right, then yes!  How can I say this child means more than that child?  Or, I will stick my neck (and my job) out for her, but not him?  I just can't do it!  I can't.

I don't know how this will end.  I'm really trying to be open minded.  Really.  I just have such a hard time setting aside my convictions.  My sense of right and wrong.  Especially when it means compromising my values.  My integrity.  The integrity of my team.

Thanks for letting me vent.  I still need your advice.  Your hugs.  Your ears.

Warmly,

~Cab Lover